|
|||||||
|
|
|
|||||
|
|
|||||||
 |
ROYAL Dinner Party: "Back to the Future" meets "The Lion in Winter" |  |
 DINNER PARTY from Hell |
The Frantic Search |
The NEW World |
At Home in the Big Apple.... |
Contact Page |
Home and Hearth and assorted adventures |
Hyjinks Continue..... |
Catalog Page MORE STORY |
MORE Royal Adventures |
Guest Book Page |
| Guestbook Page (see the Tab directly above these words) now fully operative. Please give us your thoughts on our Story. Cheers! ********************************************************************************** DINNER PARTY from HELL "Back to the Future" meets "The Lion in Winter" Part 1: (written by Coralynn) Isabella "She Wolf" of France sits at one end of the very long banquet table, and at the other end sits her husband, Edward 11, looking uncomfortable indeed. Isabella has brought a red-hot poker with her to the dinner party, and every time it appears to be cooling off, goes to the fireplace and, thrusting it in, makes it red hot once again. She tells others that she has this implement with her so that she can heat up the hasty pudding, should it cool too much. Edward, however, sitting in his large wooden chair, shifting about nervously, is not all that sure. Eleanor of Aquitaine and even her rival, Rosamund, are eyeing Isabel in nervous anticipation. They would like to compare reactions to such an evil woman, but, being enemies themselves, just keep eating their chocolate cake. Isabella, on the other hand, leaves her slice alone, not trusting the other 2 women, and every few moments goes back to the fire to refresh her poker. Edward wants to leave this house of horrors altogether, but cannot, as the doors have been barred by two hefty guards who stand glowering at him. What will happen next is his greatest fear, but hark! there is a sound coming from the stairwell. Who could it be? Someone to rescue him? Someone to straighten out Eleanor and Rosamund who appear to be more hostile toward each other with every passing second? PART 2: by Terri Who could it be? Why it's little William Longspree, Rosamund's bastard child by Eleanor's husband, King Henry 11. Little William has been watching from the stairway and wants to say goodnight to Mummy and Auntie Eleanor. Also, he wants a taste of her Death by Chocolate Cake. Kissing Mummy Rosamund good night and toddling off to bed, Eleanor watches Rosamund with a dropdead look. Eleanor sits there, stewing and stroking the edge of her knife. Rosamund, who has had too much mead, is oblivious to Eleanor's demeanor. She grows weary and is wondering if Henry is waiting in his chambers for her. As she gets up to check, she does not notice that Eleanor is taking her leave, also. Such a long way in that dark hallway to his chamber..... Part 3 by Coralynn Both Rosamund and Eleanor want to check on Henry, as neither one of them trusts him totally and for good reason. Rosamund takes her leave first, and, groping along the darkened passageway to Henry's chambers, senses an ominous presence. This spectre is silent, which only magnifies her mounting terror. As soon as she decides to make a bolt for it, she feels strong fingers closing over her wrist. Attempting to wrench free, she emits a scream, which rouses the others back at the banquet table. They forget their enmity one to another as they scurry into the hall carrying torches which flicker as they move swiftly toward the source of the commotion. The light slowly fills up the space and standing there is no one but the worst Monarch in Christendom: King John. Little William begins to whimper, as he has heard that John even hangs children if they are taken hostage, a fate William greatly fears. John finally announces, in a voice that bounds off the stone walls, "Whence go you, wench, know you not that I am the King?" Rosamund shrinks back in fright. "I'm most sorry, my liege, but I was under the impression that Henry was the King." John's expression becomes wrathful and his face turns an unpleasant shade of red. "And who are YOU to say, mistress?" he demands. Oh dear, poor Rosamund; she is in fear of her life. What can she do? Part 4: by Terri As John is leering down the bodice of her new azure gown, Rosamund feels his hot breath on her neck. Johm whispers, "My lady, I can see why my father finds you so desirable. But alas, he is a man approaching the winter of his years. Surely a woman of your passion and beauty....." Revulsion sweeps over Rosamund. By all that is holy, this is her paramour's son!! Perhaps it is the mead that is giving Rosamund her courage. She pushes him away -- he falls over the andiron and into the ashes of the fireplace. "Was that yur mother's idea? To get me away from Henry by bedding me? I swear by the Beauclerc blood, you will never be half the man your father is!" Turning on her heel, Rosamund flees down the corridor. Rounding the corner, she stops to catch her breath. Eleanor emerges from the shadows. "You failed, my son. Maybe she is right -- you are not half the man your father is, nay, not even a tenth! What Henry wanted, he took, be it castle, country or woman!" A darkness comes over John's face-- "Forgive me, mother -- I shall prevail in the end." Parts 5& 6: Enter Geoffrey (by Coralynn) "What manner of talk is this?! booms a voice out in the main hall. Everyone turns, startled, to see the Patriarch of the Plantagenets, Geoffrey le bon. He is indeed fair and tall and handsome and strong, and, at sight of him, Rosamund and Eleanor and Isabella, for that matter, swoon. Isabella about falls out of her chair, whereas Eleanor and Rosamund lean against the stone walls behind them for support. "What have you blackards done with my dynasty?" he demands. Edward 11, Henry 11, John, and even his brother Richard the Lionheart who has now timidly joined them, reach for their sword hilts. "I would not try such foolishness," Geoffrey almost laughs, "Know you not that I am the greatest warrior of them all?" Richard starts to stammer, "yes....but....but" at which Geoffrey reaches over and cracks him across the face. Richard tries to rub the blood from his nose and mouth, which only causes Geoffrey to laugh. Isabella, finally recovering enough to speak, inquires, "Where is your fair wife, ma-lord, the Empress Matilda?" Geoffrey laughs the louder. "The wench was run out of London, run off her throne, and as far as I am concerned she can be run straight into hellfire!" Everyone gasps as Geoffrey has assumed a more fierce demeanor, and all wish that he would return to his former jollity. "I will wait for all the damsels to arrive at this dinenr party," he begins, "then mayhap I shall make my choice, and the wench will be glad of it!" The three women begin to smooth their gowns and reaffix the pins holding their hair. Isabella, the bold hussey, even allows her hair to fall free, which is a known attempt at seductiveness. This is not lost on Geoffrey, and he closely examines Isabella head to toe. Finally he asks in a mock tone of friendliness, "And where is your lover, Roger deMortimer tonight, mistress?" At that, Edward 11 bolts upright from his chair and, waving his sword about aimlessly, blurts out "My Queen has no lover!" Looking totally pathetic in his denial, the whole company begins to titter, then chortle, then laughs uproariously. "Hast thou not heard the term cuckold?" Geoffrey blurts out between spasms of laughter. Part 6 by Terri John leans over to Richard and whispers, "Nay, the dolt probably thinks cuckold is a clock with a 'cuckold bird' announcing the time!" Geoffrey overhears, then turns on John. "Well, that's something you will never have to worry about - Isabelle of Angouleme is about as exciting as three week old porridge - all starch and no taste, plus cold as a mackeral." Richard snickers, "Oh, and shall I turn my attention on YOU?" Geoffrey thunders. "There are rumors, my boy, that you very well may wear women's knickers under that suit of armor." Richard shrinks before h im, wishing he were back in the Crusades. At least the warring is outright fighting and not the warring of his tormented inner turmoil. "A fine lot you are"! Geoffrey sneers, "But this is a feast to celebrate the coming of summer. Let us put off petty issues til the morrow!" Eleanor glances over at Rosamund. Henry has had lovers before but Eleanor always dismissed them as a passing fancy. Something about this one was different....more permanent, more threatening. "The Fair Rosamund" they called her. Why, Henry had even cecome involved with his son Richard's fiance - that insipid French princess. Of course, when Richard found out, he sent her packing. No, Rosamund was a threat, a burr under Eleanor's saddle. Something must be done -- but quickly. The only question was how....... Part 7: The Odd Couple arrives.............by Coralynn There is a commotion in the outer courtyard. Some of the yet unarrived guests must be about to make their appearance. Who? Since no one is just sure who made up the guest list, they all look to the Great Door in anticipation. A large hulk of a man steps into the room, accompanied by a slim wisp of a woman who appears to be in the most modest gown any of them had ever seen, almost totally covered as she is. Henry 11 bursts out "NO! You are my great grandmother, Saint Margaret, what are you doing here at this time? You should be mouldering in your grave." "Bless you, my darling, but this party is not time specific, and I thought I could calm the waters by telling you of the great glories of heaven and warn you about the tortures of hell, as you know, I am most holy." "Good grief! Who invited her?" John blurts out. "I certainly didn't! Did you, father?" "No possible way!" exclaims Henry 11, "How about you Eddy?" Edward 11 is confused. "Who did you say she was?" Obviously he didn't ask her to attend. "Get that pious witch OUT of here!" Isabella can barely contain her displeasure. "She is going to bring us all down and we shant have a merry party if we have to listen to her pontificate!" "HALT!" comes a booming voice from the large man accompanying Margaret. Then they all realize that Henry V111 is the personage with Margaret. "WHat are you doing with her?!" asks Richard. "We met up on the road, you dolt!" is the answer from Henry V111. "Do ye think I would spend time with such a pure, boring lady if I could avoid it?" Everyone looks from person to person and assents that indeed, Henry V111 would be the last person to have anything to do with Margaret. "Then why are you here, sire?" John asks with a combination of fear and as much bravado as he can muster. "I am here to fetch me a wife!" shouts Henry V111, "I am here to find some wench who can produce me a son! And I will not leave without one!" Geoffrey has been silent, taking this all in, but can remain so no longer. "Hey, buster, I get first dibs on the ladies!" he announces with no fear at all as he is, as he has already claimed, the greatest warrior in the history of the world. Besides, Henry V111 looks not too healthy and Geoffrey is sure he can best him in a play of swords, should it come to that. "Gentlemen!" Margaret interrupts in a louder voice than anyone knew she was able to produce. "We must not have such quarreling amongst ourselves. Are we not all related by blood?" The group starts to huddle to figure out who is indeed related to whom and how and why, and are so taken with this discussion that they do not at first see Henry V111 grab Isabella and make for the door. "Eleanor! Save me!" she screams, "You went on the Crusades, surely you can save me from this madman!" Eleanor again runs her fingers over her dagger, smiling mirthlessly, as Isabella struggles vainly to free herself. "No more!" comes the protest from Edward 11, "She hast one lover and I'll be damned if she'll take another! This humiliation is becoming oppressive! Will no one help me out here?" "Ahhhh, she's too much like a twig to bear a son, anyway" Henry concludes, dumping Isabella unceremoniously on the floor rushes. "But not all of you are so puny and worthless, hmmmm, mayhap YOU, mistress" he suggests, looking at bosomy Rosamund with lust in his eyes. Oh dear, now what will happen? Will Rosamud be abducted, never again to see Henry? Eleanor is, by this time seeing her main chance at riding herself of her rival. "Take the wench out of this Century altogether, take her, take her!" she begins to chant. SCROLL UP TO THE TOP OF THIS PAGE AND CLICK ON THE TAB "The Frantic Search." |
||
| Now Scroll back up to the top and Click on the TAB "The Frantic Search" Link below to information about Eleanor of Aquitaine |
|
|
|
|
|